There is a story that brought me to this point but I do not know if that is significant right now. A quote my assistant taped to my screen at work reads, “Sometimes good things have to fall apart so better things can come together”. I literally rolled my eyes the first time I saw it, but realizing that she was just trying to comfort me as I had done for her, I got it, and it still remains there. Lately, so much has fallen apart-and come together, it is almost nauseating to think of all the transitions that have occurred in the last two years. It is like walking a familiar labyrinth that I frequent that helps me to acknowledge the bumps and yet remember that the path is really the point of it all.
Through a series of twists and turns, U-turns and complete roundabouts I have head-on faced some of my deepest fears; loss, hurt, isolation, loss of sense of self, humiliation, you name it, it’s happened. “When you have faced your biggest fears head on, there is nothing left they can do to you”. I have discovered that the closer I find myself to my truth, my origins, the more fear is evident and I experience it as a natural emotion. Because I do not know what may lie on the other side my fear is valid and real and something I will not apologize for. This fear keeps me human, and full of compassion for others who may be experiencing this same emotion for a variety of reasons that I need not ever understand. Although social media would have me believe otherwise, I know I am not alone.
“We don’t change because we get comfortable in our discomfort, we’ve grown close to the stories and narratives we replay in our minds and we no longer know who we’d be without them. We remain stuck when we forget our original nature…”. I am choosing to remember.