When someone leads with, “I don’t want to hurt you”, whatever they say next should automatically be voided. No, you’re not telling me because you care, you’re telling me this because you want to feel less guilt for your actions that were sure to hurt another. Empty words irritate me; they’re so lifeless, useless. Often, I think of a quote I heard several years ago,
Your actions speak so loudly, I can’t hear what you’re saying.Unknown
Behaviors speak volumes to me. I have unfortunately had the experience of being lied to in several relationships. A nice way to let someone know that their words and actions are incompatible is to use this quote, because it’s the truth, indeed, it makes sense. Being an active observer in any relationship is so key; someone can come up with the most kind, gentle and praising words but watching and listening to what they actually do is so important. I like to think it might be the most important thing as in doing so you learn ones’ priorities, values, loyalty, endurance to stick with difficult things, an ability to make a decision and stick with it (good or bad), impulsivity, and so many other preferences and character traits that they have.
Energy’s like a circle it comes back around, reciprocated…